Review of Severed (2002) by Hailee E — 26 Mar 2008

I love zombie movies. However, a bad zombie movie is like getting your teeth drilled at the dentist. It is painful to sit through, it can't be over soon enough, and it smells like crap. This movie, about genetically modified tree sap that has the rather upsetting side effect of turning you into a zombie if you get it in your bloodstream, takes place in what looks like Canada on an island logging camp.

Here loggers and protesters battle it out for the first 15 minutes, until a logger is injured and gets the tree sap in his blood. From then on it is crappy zombie makeup, poor gore effects, horrid acting, and spastic zombies.

I swear, these zombies had fire ants in their drawers. How anyone could get bitten by one of these flapping meat sacks is beyond me. The characters all have sucky judgement and deserved death. They might as well have thrown themselves on the zombies teeth they were so stupid.

The box art on this little gem is so comedically awful that I almost didn't rent it. My friend suggested it, however he must have been on another herb and Nyquil bender when he saw this turd fest.

Stay away at all costs. It doesn't even have camp value. 2/10.