Review of Severance (2006) by Alexander C — 07 Dec 2012

''You've got about as much chance of getting shit out of a rocking horse!''.

TOO TRUE!

A team-building weekend in the mountains of Eastern Europe goes horribly wrong for the sales division...

Danny Dyer: Steve.

Claudie Blakley: Jill.

Severance is a film which can't make up it's mind if it's a comedy, a horror or a piss take and rip off of so many other movies.

I mean with a plot thats paper thin, it seems to forget certain things completely such as a leg in a fridge and a rocket launcher going wrong, I mean what did the writers do here? Squeeze every idea they had out of their little heads, definitely a sign desperation.

It's like Hostel,Saw thats meant to be like The Office but it's a disgusting joke of a decoy, if thats possible. Myself being English I'm meant to appreciate this dribble. I clearly do not.

It's when you reach the 2nd half and realize that NONE of the jokes are any good and that you've seen this kind of movie a million times before. You begin to look at your watch, wonder in the kitchen for a snack, then you sit back down and realize the nightmare is still on.

This will appeal to football yobs with the intelligence of an ape who are impressed by lameness and crude meandering jokes. Even two blonde's thrown in to goggle at for young male teens on heat who have no time for anything but buying Nuts magazines. This film is a sucker for the male audience.

Danny Dyer trying to act is a blessing to watch too. I mean this man does not I repeat does not seem to change in any movies he's in.

Stick to Hot Fuzz & Shaun of The Dead which are FUNNY!. Severance is a pile of shit that could sink the UK with it's filth.

Plus the ending is so predictably flat. I feel like hiding in a paper bag.

Overrated, like the Black Sheep of NZ, a travesty.