Review of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (1954) by L C — 16 Nov 2010

I hated pretty much every minute of this ridiculous piece of shit. Maybe because I don't like westerns, or I don't like musicals... or that don't like smiley sing-songy movies about kidnap, rape, white slavery and the Stockholm syndrome.

Oregon mountain man picks up a wife in town, an easy girl who needs no first date. She prepares for wilderness romance only to find out that she's going to be cooking and cleaning for six other brothers too.

She teaches them how to pick up their own coozes, because you know, she wants the help. But instead, they literally kidnap the women they want and bring them back to the cabin where the winter snow has blocked any passage in or out.

And they dance, or rather... the jump on some boards and stuff.