Review of Secretary (2002) by Daniel M — 13 Jun 2009

Officially securing the most perverted reason to watch a movie in my reviews.

I think Maggie Gyllenhaal is crazy hot. What? Fight me on it. Most of the internet thinks she is gross. Not me. I'll go on record saying that she is absolutely gorgeous and boy, what I wouldn't do to see her naked. Mind you, it didn't take much. It was a free impulse rental because I work at a video store and no one could really give me a ton of sh*t for it because I checked it out to myself. Yeah, I'm what they call awesome. The odd thing about it is that I really liked it.

Now, this definitely falls into that category of movie that is to culty and indie for its own good. Honestly, style-wise, it really reminded me of Thumbsucker, which I absolutely despised. But there is something really creepily honest about this movie that I didn't expect. Most of that genre of film usually is dependent on shock fillmaking and overly dry, gimmicky scenes. I can't say that Secretary is without a fair share of that gimmickry, but it does have a real soul and a real depth and I applaud it.

Like I mentioned, I'm a huge perv for renting this movie. Honestly, I skipped over it time after time before I went Maggie Gyllenhaal ga-ga, eventually forgetting the premise of the movie. But then I got the Mr. Skin Skincyclopedia for my birthday and, by this point, I was on the bandwagon. Lo and behold, that Bible of sorts revealed that I'd get all the goods in this movie. On a sad a lonely night, probably a Tuesday, I took this movie home. For a while, I waited. I pretty much waited the entire movie, sitting through innuendo and a li'l bit o' lovely cheek, but no smut! I was about to hunt down that grinning bastard Mr. Skin until the end...

...but the nudity was part of a payoff. (Right now, I'm aware of how creepy I'm coming off. I need this from time-to-time!) This, in a really dark and disturbing way, is a gorgeous romance. Heck, it might be better than all of the romance movies I had picked up following this film. That's how much I really appreciated it. I'm not saying I'd watch it all of the time, but I am saying that there's a really powerful love in this movie that is expressed through bondage and chair urination. I wasn't expecting that and I was very pleased. Perhaps it was because my expecations were so low, but I have to say that this movie was pretty darned great. I always liked James Spader, but never been a hardcore fan. I can't say that he gave me anything outside of what I was used to, but I think he fills that role very well. Really, the pairing of actors was a really great match and I think that the chemistry works in a very sick way.

I'm not ever going to say that this movie is for everyone. Heck, I feel like I should apologize for my Maggie facination right now and for coming off as super creepy. But this is actually a pretty solid movie and I say that this is my answer to Thumbsucker.