Review of Say Anything... (1989) by Vince K — 10 Aug 2009

Late '80s Cameron Crowe film starring JOHN PUBESACK about a kickboxer who falls for someone way out of his league. I always hated Cameron Crowe films, they're always about people who are too staggeringly normal for me to relate to.

I remember in my Interpersonal Communications class in college when the teacher made us watch Swingles, starring Campbell Scott (who went on to marry Bruce Campbell, therefore becoming Campbell Campbell).

I was like, yawn, who gives a fuck. This is why I didn't watch this movie in 20 years. Everyone knows Cusack holds up a stereo playing Shock the Monkey and it's supposed to romance her back into being with him.

Frasier's gay dad John Mahoney (with brown hair) plays her dad and he turns out to be an evil villain who runs a retirement home and murders the seniors for their money. LOL @ the thought of old people being thrown down a flight of stairs.

Monkey-faced cunt whore Lili Taylor plays Cusack's best friend, who's just a total bitch or something. The film was also one of the first of many films to feature John Cusack in drag as another character played by his alter-ego Joan Cusack.

I always thought it's strange how a man can put on lipstick and pretty dresses and still consider himself straight. Ever notice how all actors playing teens in the '80s looked like they were 25? And now every 25-year-old actor today looks like their in their teens? What the fuck is that about? It's true, our generation just looks younger.

I'm sick to death of people thinking I'm 21 like I'm some kind of fucking retard or something (I'm 31 now). It's insulting! And what's with the title "Say Anything..."? What the hell did that have to do with the movie? But all-in-all John Cusack and the "Nameless Actress Who Never Became Famous" are quite cute together and this was altogether a good film.