Review of Santa's Slay (2005) by Elliot L — 28 Oct 2006

[b][u]Santa's Slay rises so far above sophomoric that it is nearly juniorific![/u][/b].

Santa's Slay was spectacular! Year's best film! A Feast for the Senses! A cornucopia of Visual Delight! It was like Bad Santa meets The Matrix meets Animaniacs meets Poody-Tang!

Ok, in all seriousness, this wasn't a bad film. In fact, it honestly was one of the best films I've probably seen all year. It's a B movie for sure but one with a distinctive self-awareness. It tells the Scandinavian myth of how Santa, an arrogant Viking-clad demon, whose name can be shuffled to spell 'Satan'(original, I know), was challenged to a curling contest (the winter sport unrelated to weight lifting.) by some old fart. The catch was that, if Santa lost, he had to abide by the wishes of everyone else in the world for a thousand years. Santa looses to what he later realizes is an Angel in disguise. In the present, it is Christmas exactly 1000 years since Santa lost the bet. Now he is finally free to do what he's best at, killing without mercy.

The pros:

*Santa never kills anyone the same way twice. He's actually quite creative.

*His sleigh is pulled by a giant kick-ass albino Bison.

*An oddball cast, consisting of Fran Drescher (The Nanny), Chris Kattan (SNL) and Bill Goldberg (WCW) as Santa Claus himself, as well as many other recognizable faces.

*Santa is a Viking, a freaking Viking!!!

The cons:

*The only real con is that nobody is going to believe me that this movie was actually funny.