Review of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964) by Brandon M — 12 Feb 2010

A true classic of terrible cinema, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians really has to be seen to be believed. How anyone thought that kids would love this christmas film is beyond me, it's diabolical thorughout. Opening with the cheesist christmas song you will ever hear, it doesn't get any better as we are treated to awful acting, hilarious dialogue, the cheapest looking sets you will ever see and the worst looking cardboard box robot ever featured in a film.

The plot is hilarious, the kids of Mars are all sad as they are not allowed to have a proper childhod due the seriousnes sof everyone on Mars. The Martians (people with terrible black facepaint and an antenae hat on) decide to kidnap Santa to make the kids happy. However mutiny happens within the martian team so it's up to Santa and two annoying kids to save the day and inspire the Martians to mend their ways.

The whole thing looks like it was made for a fiver The Martian guns are hysterical, they make a popping sound which renders people paralysed. All sets are made with cardboard, plot points are started then completely forgotten about and the climatic battle scene involes the Martian baddy being bombarded with bubble guns and paper aeroplanes.

Hilarious from start to finish but truly awful.