Review of Sahara (2005) by Markb. — 21 Jan 2006

Dashing but devil-may-care Matthew McConaughey (A Time to Kill, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days) and goofy but lovable Steve Zahn (Joy Ride, Riding in Cars with Boys) are normally two actors I really like, but they couldn't convince me here that they once stood in the same supermarket line, much less have been buddies-in-adventure all their lives, and that's not the least of this astonishingly dull action-comedy's problems.

Breck Eisner paces it the way I hope his dad, famed studio exec Michael E., DIDN'T use to run board meetings--literally forty-five minutes pass in which absolutely nothing happens! Obviously this movie wants desperately to reinvent the Indiana Jones wheel, a difficult task but not an impossible one, as both the original Romancing the Stone and 2004's surprisingly refreshing and enjoyable National Treasure certainly prove.

[***SPOILERS***]The plot deals with McConaughey's and Zahn's search through the eponymous, scoundrel-filled desert for an extremely rare coin; it takes a seriously wrong turn midway through when it uses the plight of diseased Africans heartlessly used as corporate cannon fodder.

The Constant Gardener earns the right to employ this storyline because that's the heart of the film and because it takes that wrenching situation seriously; Sahara uses it as a spiffy little McGuffin, which is nothing short of obscene.

(Perhaps this is one reason why Gardener's source author, John LeCarre, is regarded as a real writer while Sahara's, Clive Cussler, is considered a hack.) Almost as offensive is Sahara's total waste of the great William H.

Macy in the all-but-invisible role of McConaughey's and Zahn's superior; one of the movie's more curious aspects is its uninspired, supposedly jocular use of several 1974 Top 40 hits ("Sweet Home Alabama", "Right Place Wrong Time"), but in Macy's case it should've added one more: "Billy, Don't Be A Hero (Or Anything Else)".