Review of Sabotage (2014) by Carlos J — 15 Apr 2014

I've seen 21 of Schwarzenegger's films. If I ranked them (and I have), this would be #20, right above "Batman & Robin." Yes, it goes below "Jingle All the Way." Yes, it's much worse than "End of Days." It makes "Eraser" look like an Oscar contender.

There isn't a single sympathetic character (although Sam Worthington makes SOME scenes ALMOST worth watching). There is no chemistry between any two people on screen at any given time. Every performance is wildly uneven, especially Arnold's, who's character's wife and son were recently tortured to death by drug lords, yet still finds time to be jokey and flippant.

The plot makes no sense from the get-go, and then somehow becomes increasingly ridiculous as the movie goes on (but not in a good way). The language is so profane that it becomes an assault on the ears, and then it only sounds like everyone is trying to sound like they think a badass would sound. And it's relentless violent, to an absurd degree that takes it into torture porn territory.

I'm happy to see Arnie back in movies. I haven't seen "Escape Plan" yet, but "The Expendables 2" greatly improved upon the boring and stupid (but not in the self-aware sense) first one, and "The Last Stand" was an expertly directed little thriller with some real dramatic heft and some fun tongue-in-cheek jokes at the expense of its star that made it deserving of a wider audience than it's had.

But this? This is a bad, bad movie. It gets one star instead of a half-star because of Sam Worthington and one -- ONE -- inventively edited scene, and also because I reserve half-star ratings for truly worthless garbage like "Crank.".