Review of Rudy (1993) by Bill E — 29 Nov 2010

In response to Matt Belmonte's request to review Zombieland, I am reviewing Rudy, the classic yarn of an openly gay man living out his fantasy of playing football for Notre Dame University. Sean Astin is a revelation as Daniel "Rudy" Ruettiger, and we never forget for one second that he is a homosexual.

The locker scenes crackle with tension as Rudy is constantly told he is too small to play collegiate football - and yet he perseveres. I must admit, I've only seen part of this film - last night as I was falling asleep(I later awoke to The Birdcage with the always restrained Robin Williams).

But the point is, I GOT it. It didn't matter I only saw the beginning and that The Birdcage invaded my subconscious. What matters is we're never going to be a nation of true equals until all gay men are encouraged to play collegiate football.

We live in complicated times, readers, but what makes things even more complicated is a system whereby gay men are practically forced into the slavery of musical theatre, and then told, "No way, Jose!" when they have the temerity to strap on a helmet.

I have a dream, it's an awesome dream, where all men, be they gay or straight, are given equal opportunity to be used like wet wipes by the majestic juggernaut that is NCAA football, and then spit out without an education into a world that prizes financial derivatives instead of a lifelong limp.

This is my dream, gang, and you may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. Cheer, cheer, old Notre Dame!