Review of Rotor (2015) by Julio C — 02 Aug 2008

Several key scenes sum up the overall feel of this flick:

1. We spend a good 6-8 minutes watching the daily routine of the most boring asshole on Earth, including his 1.5 minute trip from his house to his fence.

2. A "villain" who looks like a fat redneck (and not a robot like on the cover) with a mustache pulls over a guy for "excessive speed" and shoots him in the head.

3. A muscular transvestite chick with a skunk-colored mullet (you just have to see it) waxes philosophical and misquotes John Milton trying to look smart.

4. A 6" claymation "robot" does Tai Chi. I shit you not.

This is simply the worst/best movie ever created. It's as if the entire pantheon of creative gods took a collective dump into this Cullen Blaine guy's head and out popped ROTOR. I honestly don't know anymore if this is satire or what, it's so fucking horrible.

The plot?

Ripped from Terminator/Robocop. The acting?

Haha, for a second there, I thought you said acting. Good one.

The production?

Put it this way, they couldn't even sync the audio with the video, and the lead actor's voice is apparently DUBBED by some random guy with a HORRIBLE voice for dubbing. Also, when a guy is driving on a dirt road, in the next scene you can CLEARLY see that he is on a basketball court. I have seen this movie roughly seven times and I regret none of them. You owe it to yourself to see this at least once before you die.