Review of Romancing the Stone (1984) by Chris I — 22 May 2014

Sometimes a film can be just too cheesy for its own good, and this doesn't cut it for me. Released at what would have been a similar time to the likes of Indian Jones and Crocodile Dundee, there is far more adventure, far more comedy, and generally much more entertainment in both of those.

I'm not convinced by Michael Douglas being cast as a loveable rogue in this as he doesn't have the right swagger to pull off such a role and Kathleen Turner is still an unfamiliar name to me too.

The concept is fine what with failed author Turner receiving a treasure map and being asked to deliver it to some Colombian maniacs who are holding her sister hostage. Upon arrival, she is then hunted down by several enemies, keen on discovering the treasure for themselves, with Douglas inadvertedly becoming one of them.

After a few close calls and a bit of seduction, the new couple agree to go hunt the treasure as a means of bartering with the villains, but this soon goes tits up when they are captured by little Danny De Vito in the act (who I hasten to add has the most pointless role in the entire film, being neither funny nor compelling).

This all fuels into a hopelessly weak ending that is no more stupid than predictable, but which at least allows Turner to base her new book on life experience, gives Douglas the funds to buy his dream yacht, and the two sail away (in the middle of the road) to live happily ever after.

It's a typical family film which has no doubt received good publicity due to its lighthearted approach to entertainment. It's not offensive or cringeworthy, but doesn't have the X factor as Simon Cowell might say.

I wasn't even aware that this spawned a sequel but no doubt some day I'll have the 'pleasure' (?) of witnessing this, not that I hold out a great deal of hope for it.