Review of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016) by Stephen B — 10 Sep 2017

This is NOT a Star Wars film.

This is fan service slop. It basically takes everything wonderful about the originals such as the iconic characters of Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie and replaces it with a brain-dead cast of nobodies (and an autistic robot) that I can't even remember a single name of. I mean ffs I can remember General Ackbar (A Bloody fish character) from the originals but not the lead role of this film?! Wait hang on a minute! Who is the lead role?!

Anyone telling you this is a "War Documentary" needs to piss off thinking they can try and make it sound more interesting then what it is. Grayness.

The only redeeming factor I can give is that I can appreciate some of Gareth Edwards's directing in the battle sequences which yes are kinda fun seeing fan service AT AT explosions and shooting but there's no characters for me to care about and follow.

The ending was probably the best part. SPOILERS...

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The whole cast who I never gave a fuck about all died. YAY! But the best part was when Darth Vader turns up and beats the shit out of rebel scum which as much as I know is fan service, actually seeing Darth Vader for the first time in a film actually not killing but absolutely MURDERING rebel scum in whats actually a really terrifying and darkly tonal scene (especially for a Star Wars film) and seeing his lightsaber light up in the dark as the rebels scream and run away was superb directing from Gareth. Disney almost was about to edit it out but Gareth Edwards wanted to keep it and I respect him for doing something DIFFERENT in a Star Wars but actually making it WORK. Seeing Darth Vader's character like that was actually fun and exciting and that's exactly what he was in that scene. CHARACTER! It's just a shame the rest of the film had the life sucked out of it and more than anything I blame disney and not Gareth for making this an 1000 timed edited mess of glum dullness.

Different is good but ONLY when it's done right!