Review of Rock of Ages (2012) by Robert B — 07 Mar 2013

I liked this movie, but I have a few complaints. First, Tom Cruise does not run in this movie. Why not? I thought he had to run in all of his movies. It's a clause. Second, Julianne Hough has an odd face and a grating voice.

Third, this movie had strippers doing choreography. Everyone knows that strippers do not do choreography. In fact, most of them are unable to do anything more than stalk angrily across the stage. Fourth, most of the actors in this movie who sang are not very good singers.

Finally, this movie takes place in the mid-1980s, and yet managed to work in the occasional 90s song. Way to go.