Review of Rock of Ages (2012) by Andrew S — 02 Jun 2013

I know there's an audience for this movie. I'm not part of that audience. To me, it's like sitting and watching people I don't know sing karaoke. In fact, sometimes that's more interesting. It's not that this movie is bad, per se. It's just dull. The characters are mostly uninteresting and bland. The jokes, when there are jokes, are easy and lazy. The plot is just an excuse for the music. And the music...well, it's there. It's an homage to all your favorite 80s bands taking place in a universe where none of them exist.

Now, you may be asking, "Do they sing that one song from the 80s?" Yes. Yes they do. "How about...?" You bet! All your local radio station favorites are in this movie. Every song that would be featured on a Time Life compilation entitled, "The 80s" are present. There's really no reason to talk about the plot or the characters. All of that is secondary. The question is: do you want to spend two hours watching Tom Cruise, Alec Baldwin, Russel Brand, and a handful of "oh he's in this too?"s, "isn't that what's-his-face?"s, and "I have no idea who that is"s sing the radio hits of the likes of Guns N Roses, Journey, Whitesnake, and more? If you do, then go for it. If you don't think you're interested in this movie, then you aren't. Don't bother. There's nothing else here for you.

Maybe I don't need to talk this much about this movie. Chances are, if you wanted to see this movie, you have, and if you didn't, you don't need to. For me, it was late and this is what popped on HBO, so I thought, "Why not?". I didn't like it. I didn't hate it. It is what it is and what it is is not something I really needed to watch.