Review of Robot Monster (1953) by Van R — 24 Apr 2011

"The Cape Canaveral Monsters" director Phil Tucker's science fiction.

Epic "Robot Monster" ranks as so bad that it has acquired the status of.

A camp classic. This constituted Tucker's sophomore effort. Eventually,.

He helmed nine films and served as an editor on the Maxwell Smart.

Adventure "The Nude Bomb." Indeed, "Robot Monster" even surpasses Ed.

Wood's incompetent masterpiece "Plan 9 from Outer Space." Reportedly.

Lensed in four days for $16-thousand, "Robot Monster" coined a million.

Dollars. Principal photography took place at Bronson Canyon in.

California. "Gorilla At large" actor and stunt man George Barrows.

Played the eponymous alien as well as his superior. He furnished his.

Own ape suit. A diving helmet with antenna aerials topped off his.

Absurd costume.

"Robot Monster" opens with a little Johnny (Gregory Moffett of "Saddle.

Tramp"), and his sister, Carla (one-time actress Pamela Paulson),.

Frolicking in Bronson Canyon. Little Johnny wears a bubble-shaped space.

Helmet and totes a ray pistol. He warns Carla, "These woods are full of.

Spacemen and it's either them or us." All Carla wants is to play house.

With her reluctant brother. They discover two archeologists, Roy.

(George Nader of "Congo Crossing") and the Professor (John Mylong of.

"Magnificent Obsession"), removing a cave painting for analysis.

Eventually, their mother, Selena Royle of "The Heiress"), and older.

Sister Alice (Claudia Barrett of "Night Riders of Montana") find them.

We learn the family has been on a picnic. Furthermore, Johnny and Carla.

Were supposed to take a nap after lunch. Instead, these little rascals.

Slipped away to play. After they return to their picnic site, Johnny.

Observes that he wants a new father to replace his recently defunct.

Father. Moreover, he wants him to be a scientist. The family settles.

Down, and Tucker fades out. When Tucker fades back up, Johnny awakens.

With his toy space gun and scrambles back to the cave. Neither Roy nor.

The Professor are anywhere in sight. An fiery ball enters the Earth's.

Atmosphere and plasma bolts shoot out. Johnny collapses unconscious at.

The cave entrance, and we are treated to two dinosaur battles before.

The scene shifts back to the cave where Johnny lies sprawled. A huge.

Machine that manufactures bubbles has been set up at the cave entrance.

According to the opening credits, N.A. Fisher Chemical Products.

Manufactured the Automatic Billion Bubble Machine. On the other side of.

The cave sets an intergalactic flat-screen television designed for.

Video conferencing. Johnny picks up a can of paint and paints a figure.

On the cave entrance by the flat-screen TV until more lightning-like.

Effects prompt him to exit moments before the Ro-man (George Barrows).

Appears to transmit an update to his home planet.

Great Guidance Ro-man (Barrows again) appears on the flat-screen.

Television and reprimands its subordinate on Earthâ"designated as.

'Ro-Man XJ2'â"for being 14 minutes late with his report. Ro-Man counters.

That the stronger gravitational pull on Earth is to blame. Great.

Guidance Ro-man notifies XJ2 that life exists on no other planet and.

Earth remains their only rival. Ro-Man reports that the Earthlings knew.

About atomic power, but they had not yet mastered the cosmic ray. Armed.

With a cosmic ray that he refers to as a "Calcinator," Ro-Man invaded.

Earth and blasted Earthlings with the weapon. We are briefly shown.

Devastated cityscapes and hear about the Calcinator crumbling.

Buildings. Initially, the confused Earthlings foolishly believed rival.

Nations had launched attacks on each other. Ro-Man reveals that the.

Earthlings destroyed themselves with explosive hydrogen bombs. Ro-Man.

Informed the Earthlings of his presence to preserve the remaining.

Cities. Although the few surviving nations struggled to band together.

Against the Ro-man, they were not his equal. "Their resistance pattern.

Showed some intelligence," he assures the Great Leader. Consequently,.

Ro-Man informs his superior that the Earth is open to colonization.

While the Guidance Ro-Man and his subordinate talk to each other,.

Johnny eavesdrops outside the cave. The Guidance Ro-Man points out thatXJ2 has not eradicated all mankind. Indeed, eight people remain on.

Earth, and they must be destroyed. The Ro-Man retreats back inside its.

Cave while Johnny heads back home.

You know something has changed since the last fade-out because the.

Professor is acting now as Johnny's father. The family has wreathed a.

Roofless fortification with electrical wires. Johnny's mother scolds.

Him for having ventured outside their house. "The only reason we are.

Still alive is that your sister Alice and I worked out a way to reflect.

His deadly beam away from the house." Johnny explains he has found.

Ro-Man and was painting a picture of him as he appeared to them on.

Their flat-screen viewer. When asked why he made the painting, Johnny.

Replies, "So in case he did wipe out the human race there would be some.

Record of how it happened." Although Ro-Man has not located them yet,.

He addresses them on the flat-screen: "Hu-mans, listen to me! Due to an.

Error in calculation there are still a few of you left! You escaped.

Destruction because I did not know you existed! Now I know you are.

Watching! I see five of you who have not been destroyed! Show.

Yourselves, and I promise you a painless death!" Moreover, they have.

Survived because they have created an antibiotic serum to the death.

Ray. Eventually, Ro-Man kills Carla, captures Alice, and has a falling.

Out with Guidance Ro-Man over Alice. Guidance Ro-Man kills him because.

He disobeyed his orders. Johnny awakens and we learn it has all been a.

Dream.

Some of dialogue is downright sexist. For example, Alice and Roy.

Quarrel, and Roy observes, "You're so bossy that you ought to be milkedbefore you come home at night!" "Robot Monster" is vaguely reminiscentof "Invaders from Space" since an urchin discovers a planned invasion of Earth by extraterrestrials but falls into the alien's hands. You.

Will laugh yourself silly watching this hilarious sci-fi film. Elmer.

Bernstein's flavorful orchestral score imparts atmosphere.