Review of Robinson Crusoe (2016) by Jason M — 20 Sep 2016

The Wild Life.

Initial Reaction: As supposed to the Mild Life.

Main Characters.

Roberson Crusoe: He's an explorer. He's voiced by Matthias Schweighofer.

Tuesday: He's a parrot. He's voiced by David Howard.

Plot Summary.

When Roberson crashes onto a deserted island, he meets up with several odd creatures who think he's a threat.

But the real danger comes from a pair of cats that were on board Roberson's ship. They go out and try to eat the other animals - well because that's what cats do.

So it's up to the island animals to help Crusoe adopt to life, build a shelter and some other ... things and defend it all from those cats - because those cats deserve to die of starvation (hold on - there might be a problem with that line of thinking.).

SCORING.

Main Characters.

Crusoe comes across as too much of a dimwit for me to like - or be a "hero" of the film. And Tuesday just comes across as more annoying with his constant voice over of the events. SCORE: 2.

Supporting Cast.

The rest of the film is just a bunch of characters that the writers put in hoping that something will work. And most of them don't work - from the pirates to the kingfisher to the armadillo. These characters just don't add enough quirkiness to the mix. SCORE: 3.

Plot.

This is one film that's overstuffed and overly simple at the same time. Most of the film is about the island animals trying to fight off the cats - who just want to eat something.

And to make matters worse is this film has one of the most sudden endings I've seen in a long time. It's as if the makers of the film suddenly realize they're out of time, money and ideas and just put credits on screen. SCORE: 1.

Originality.

This film tries to mix a really bad survivor film with a film about talking animals - and it doesn't have anything that I consider fresh or inventive. SCORE: 2.

Violence Factor.

There's a scene where one animal dies in an explosion (off camera), and there's a lot of things getting destroyed. But a climatic action sequence does goes on for far too long - and it feels very contrived. SCORE: 2.

Other Moral Issues.

I still don't understand why it's bad that these cats hunt other animals. It's what they do! SCORE: 2.

Final Score (out of 60): 12 % Score: 20%.

This is one film that should've gone straight to DVD - or not made at all.