Review of Roar (2014) by Kevin M — 08 Jun 2017

Noel Marshall stars as "Hank," a deranged zoologist or conservationist or doctor-something who lives alone in a secluded house on an African river bank with (literally) hundreds of lions, tigers, leopards, panthers, cheetahs, jaguars and cougars to keep him company. According to Hank, he needs to be as close to the big cats as possible to further his "studies." Hank also believes "the closer you get to them, the more they like you, the safer you'll be" (apparently Hank attended the same school of zoology as Timothy Treadwell). Hank is so delusional that he sends for his wife and three kids to share in this once-in-a-lifetime experience (because if you're going to be eaten alive by tigers, you might as well do it in front of your entire family).

The film begins with Hank at home clearing out the piles of cat poop and animal carcasses before his family arrives. Hank's friend "Mativo" (played by Kyalo Mativo) arrives on his boat to remind Hank about two things: 1) he has a meeting with the "Grant Committee" that same day and 2) he's insane. (Mativo probably has the most dialogue, but it's hard to make out what he's saying. It's not because English is bad; it's because he's genuinely terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.).

Meanwhile...Hank's wife, "Madeleine" (played by Tippi Hedren), and their three kids: "Melanie" (Melanie Griffith), "John" (John Marshall), and "Jerry" (Jerry Marshall) arrive at a dirt landing strip to wait for Hank.

Back at the house, the Grant Committee arrives dressed like "Jefferson Airplane." They too remind Hank that he's insane, but since they sound like a Columbian drug cartel (for some reason), Hank immediately dismisses their accusations. Hank interrupts his own speech about how not-crazy he is in order to break up a fight between three, fully grown, adult male lions. According to Hank, he needs to "protect" them. One of the lions almost rips Hank's hand off (literally) and chases him into the river. Hank retires to the house to bandage his hand and gets pounced by all the other lions and tigers waiting inside (who are there to finish the job). Hank attempts to bandage his hand while fending off a pride of lions.

Outside...two tigers capsize one of the Grant Committee's boats and proceed to beat the crap out of Jefferson Airplane. Hank responds to their cries for help with a lot of arm flailing and high-pitched screaming. The scene ends with everyone looking like "Cactus Jack" after an old-school ECW barb-wire match in Philly. There's blood everywhere.

Back at the landing strip, Tippi and the kids grow impatient and decide to take a bus to Hank's house. There's an awkward exchange between Tippi and Melanie about sex (no idea why they put that in the movie).

Hank, Mativo, and two 700lb tigers then board Mativo's boat to pick up Tippi and the kids at the landing strip. Naturally, the boat capsizes half-way down the river. Hank and Mativo are now forced to walk the rest of the way with two man-eating predators.

Tippi and the kids arrive at Hank's house of death to find it completely abandoned. As they begin to settle in, ALL of the cats return with a dismembered zebra. After smearing blood everywhere, the big cats decide to chase Tippi and her children through the house like some horrifying episode of "Scooby-Doo." The family hides in closets, cabinets, refrigerators, and wooden barrels to escape the clutches of their new roommates.

This is, hands-down, Melanie Griffith's greatest performance because she's NOT required to act. She is genuinely terrified at the prospect of getting her face ripped off (and she actually gets her face ripped off). One scene has Melanie Griffith gasping for breath with a 400lb lioness crushing her thoracic cavity in the middle of the kitchen. A cute little lion cub looks on intently as the lioness places Melanie's head inside her mouth (it's obvious the lioness is teaching her cub how to properly kill and eat a Melanie Griffith). Tippi Hedren interrupts the period of instruction by pulling on her tail, only to get swiped at. Tippi Hedren then goes off-script and throws open the window to call for help in an effort to save her daughter. It's clear...Tippi is in a sincere state of panic.

The only character the audience is able to relate to is the cougar. He's the only one with enough sense to climb a tree or get up into the rafters to avoid all of the giant tigers and lions...doing giant tiger and lion stuff.

"ROAR" started as a passion project from actress Tippi Hedren ("The Birds" - 1963) and her then husband, Noel Marshall (executive producer of "The Exorcist" - 1973). The film was intended to be a light-hearted, family-friendly movie where Noel, Tippi and their children coexist with hundreds of giant predatory cats (like "Born Free" meets "Swiss Family Robinson" with John Mills playing a lunatic). However, if you watch this film with the sound off...it's a straight-up horror movie.

Apparently, Tippi Hedren was not entirely satisfied with Alfred Hitchcock throwing hundreds of trained birds at her face. So she throws hundreds of UNTRAINED, man-eating predators at her entire family. This film is regarded as the "the most dangerous movie ever made." Melanie Griffith required facial reconstruction surgery (50 stitches). The cameraman had his scalp torn off (120 stitches). Noel Marshall had so many lacerations, he contracted gangrene. And Tippi Hedren broke her leg.

Needless to say, production suffered a number of setbacks. Over 70 cast and crew were injured. Financing pulled out after two years (Tippi and Noel had to fund it personally). A forest fire and two floods completely destroyed their set. And they had a hard time finding a crew crazy enough to work on it. It was never released in the U.S. (until Alamo Drafthouse re-released it in 2015). But, after $17 million dollars and five years of filming, the only discernible plot is "Hank picks up his wife at the airport." That's pretty much the whole movie. The rest is 90 minutes of giant cats beating the crap out of everyone and eating a house. It's an incredible film.