Review of Road House (1989) by Larry C — 21 Apr 2014

Patrick Swayze plays Dalton, the best cooler in the business, as he is recruited to tame the rough and tumble Double Deuce bar and its notoriously rowdy staff & clientele, hoping that the fresh start will serve to excise the demons from his past.

Let Swayze be your guide as he answers all of life's eternal questions such as "What do I do when a group of hired thugs repeatedly draw knifes on me and try to blow me up?" [answer: keep admitting them into your bar].

Not just mindless violence for the fellas, there's also a love story and plenty of shots of Dalton doing tai-chi by the water (are you sitting down...his shirt comes off) for the ladies. With answers to that and timeless maxims such as "Pain don't hurt", we are all in for a Masters-level education on when to love and when to kick ass.

Because it's an 80s movie, of course there has to be an evil white guy terrorizing the town with his goons and monster truck, and there's only one man who can stop him. Justice, thy name is Swayze.