Review of Rio (2011) by Jesse B — 01 Apr 2012

I'm not really in the mood to review this movie at the moment, so what I'll do instead is give a few quick facts:

#1: There is too much sexual innuendo found in children's films today. To say that there is any to begin with is already too much, but I do not find it appropriate or funny to have vibrator jokes in movies for the kids. If they were trying to give an adult appeal to the film, try writing interesting characters and a good story for starters.

#2: If you can tell what the outcome of a film is within the first 10 - 15 minutes, what is the use in watching the full 90 minute feature only to be left unsurprised? I'm sure you could think of a number of other things to do with that left over 75 minutes of your time, like... I don't know, find a solution for world hunger or cure AIDS.

#3: Why can't a children's film be told from the perspective of a child? What does a little three year old care about the world of adults? Instead of children, we simply get adults who act like children -- or worse, in this particular case.

#4: Do we really need a plot which requires for villainous treachery in all kids movies? I know, it's pretty much a staple of the child film scene. But can't we come up with anything more interesting and still find a way to entertain the little tykes? And do we really need villains who are so evil that they are willing to snack on their own kind and make jokes about it? Yes, there is a cannibalistic bird in the film, and he sings a sinister song on how evil he is.

#5: You know an animated film is going to be rotten when you find George Lopez's character to be the most appealing.

Of course, not all of the film is bad. It has some beautiful animation and gorgeous color. To bad nothing that was being animated was in any way interesting.