Review of Returner (2002) by Dave A — 12 Jul 2009

If Transformers, the Terminator franchise, Independance Day, the special effects from War of the Worlds all gang-banged E.T., you would get the Returner: a mash-up of concept and cinematic scope all the way down to the story. You see, a girl travels back in time...to stop an alien invasion, featuring ships that can transform into jets!!! Gooo plagiarism!!

And then there's the first alien, who bares a striking resemblance to E.T. and even wants to "go home". Woooow. I was more interested in catching all the passing movie references and nods than the actual story or characters. Speaking of characters, I didn't care for them too much. Sure a friendship starts up between the girl and Samanosuke (Kaneshiro) but this is really all about the action.

And that's what saves The Returner from being a complete disaster, doomed to the bargain bin as an insufferable clone of better movies. The action is pretty decent, with lots of great action and gunplay that splashs the screen with an orgasm of adrenaline!! But the special effects?? Couldn't be any worse!! The aliens are poorly digitized and the transformation effects make Kinetex robots look realistic!! lol Remember those?!

Overall, I was mildly entertained. The two leads have enough chemistry to carry you through to the end, and although the main villain is a dick, he's just evil enough for you to want him dead at the climax! I also wish the epilogue was alot shorter. The movie as a whole could've been shortened considerably too, because there were so many unnecessary scenes that led nowhere! Check it out, but I wouldn't recommend a purchase unless you like Japanese action movies!!