Review of Return to Sleepaway Camp (2008) by Jake S — 28 Oct 2013

This is easily one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I don't care that slasher movies (I'm a big fan of them) aren't supposed to be that smart, this one's stupider than a brick. First of all, our supposed main character is one of the most unlikable main characters that I've ever come across and is an unholy combination of pathetic, whiny, and a bully. On top of that, a good 85% of the movie is just scene after scene of the rest of the campers (and even some councelors) just sadistically and relentlessly bullying our main character over and over again. Now, if this was leading to something or had some point, then it would be fine. Unfortunately though, it doesn't and just comes across as mean-spirited and unpleasant. Thirdly, the ending can be seen coming from a mile away (seriously, if you didn't guess this one then you weren't paying attention) and half of the plotlines that the movie sets forth it doesn't explain in any way or resolve at all. Hell, the credits rolled halfway through a scene at the end, or at least it looked that way to me.

Literally the only redeeming value that this movie has is that some of the kills were pretty cool. The bed of spikes (how did she set that up without anyone noticing?) was awesome and perhaps the coolest moment, the cook's head in the hot oil was appropriately gruesome, and the birdcage with the rats thing was like something out of the "Saw" series. These moments are the only reason this is getting even 1 star, and it feels like the writer/director came up with them before the story and then threw together a plot in 5 minutes around it simply so they could film these kill scenes.

Not at all recommended for anyone. Stay FAR away from this one and let it fade mercifully into the obscurity it so richly deserves.