Review of Return of the Jedi (1983) by William T — 11 Jan 2015

This was the first star wars movie I saw as a child, as I re-watched star wars 1-3, I was thinking "i can see why people say the phantom menace was an awful film" and saw the others, but I will review the others later, as I started the original trilogy, the a new hope was an unbelievable master piece of cinema, when I watched the empire strikes back, then thinking it was EVEN BETTER then the new hope and by far my favorite star wars movie, but when I saw return of the jedi I was thinking.

......... "i hate this movie".... this is after attack of the clones for my list of least and favorite(1-6 starting with number six thats my least favorite star wars movie) star wars movie, 6.

Phantom menace, 5, attack of the clones, 4. return of the jedi 3. revenge of the sith, 2. a new hope 1. the empire strikes back, so the movie starts with darth vader coming back from where the sith lives, and saying he's coming to the "FULLY EXPOSED DEATH STAR NEAR ENDOR", and basically 3po and d2 go to jabba's place, then instead of luke himself coming and tell him, he has r2 sending jabba a message asking of the release of han solo, then when he finally builds up the balls to come to jabba's palace himself, he's basically shows up as a bit of a bad ass, only to fucking get caught by jabba and NOT BRING HIS FUCKING LIGHTSABER, things could've been easier to rescue han if they either A.

blow the fucking place up leaving han intact in the carbonite prison, B. luke coming with his lightsaber and pretty much hold the lightsaber to his fucking neck saying let han go or else i'll shove this lightsaber up you're ass and slice your head off and killing everyone in the palace and saving han and leia, and chewy.

but instead he has to fucking drag the rescue plan out only to get trapped, captured, LEAVING HIS FUCKING LIGHTSABER IN R2, and then saving them after the dragged out plan that fails miserably, oh, and the fan favorite bobba fett gets offed right away, I admit he seems a bit badass, but that was no way a bad ass should go, he should've gone out fighting han solo, in a fist fight, or a lazer fight, then maybe having han shot bobba after fett tried to grab han's gun when han and him dropped eachother's gun and have han shoot bobba with fett's own gun, then it's later revealed that LUKE DIDN'T COMPLETE HIS FUCKING TRAINING UNDER YODA, why the fuck couldn't he have gone back after the battle with vader in episode 5?? what had him so fucking busy that he couldn't have just went back to dagoba and say to yoda "yeeeeaaaaaahhh I didn't do so good against vader, so can I get that training now?" yoda: Train you I will, dumbass you are.

but he waits until god knows how long and saves han, THEN HE GOES BACK TO FUCKING DAGOBA TO GET HIS TRAINING, AND RIGHT WHEN HE COMES BACK, YODA IS FUCKING DYING! that is total bullshit, dumbass, the skywalker family is.

then when yoda dies, obiwan comes back and he talks to luke, then reveals that leia is his sister............... that was messed up on so many levels, leia kissed him on the lips like 2 fucking times! talk about a disfunctional family, I know luke and leia didn't know, but I know what leia and luke are thinking when they find out luke: jesus space christ my sister made out with me twice O_O leia: jesus space christ I made out with my own brother Han: jesus christ that is so fucked up, so then they go to endor, han tries to ambush a storm trooper, apparently it was foiled by a fucking stick! then later after an action sequence, they get captured by the fucking star wars carebears themselves, ewoks.

... I fucking hate ewoks, so apparently they see 3po as a god, and 3po for some reason instead of listening to han and luke saying to let them go, but he listens to leia, right when they are at the ewok home and are about to be eaten may I mention, 3po listens to leia instead.

..... that was dumb, then later luke tells leia, and she's llike I had a feeling all a long that you were...... gross..... so luke is convinced that vader has good inside of him, leading to him purposely getting captured, after a interesting conversation with luke and vader, for some reason they decide to put a force field RIGHT UNDER THE FUCKING DEATH STAR ON ENDOR INSTEAD OF PUTTING A FUCKING FORCE FIELD GENERATOR IN THE DEATH STAR, so then after other stuff happens, it finally comes down to the final battle, with rebels and father and son, so apparently there is a huge fucking space for a ship to fit through the death star instead of covering up any flaws of the death star, so then luke and vader have their final battle, I can see why it was important to leave vader alive and such, but honestly, he's FUCKING EVIL!! HE KILLED THE ENTIRE JEDI ORDER, HE CHOKED PADME AND PRACTICALLY KILLED HER HIMSELF, HE'S A FUCKING IDIOT NOT EXCEPTING THE SOON TO BE DEAD WIFE WHICH WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED, HE'S A FUCKING WHINER, HE KILLED AN ENTIRE VILLAGE, HE KILLED MANY PEOPLE, AND HE FUCKING KILLED CHILDREN!!!! HE DESERVED GETTING BURNED BADLYi think there's no good inside of him at all, if anything, the goodness he had was when he was a child, so anyways during the fight, APPARENTLY! the storm troopers WHO HAVE FUCKING ARMOR AND WEAPONS ARE LOSING AGAINST THE GODDAMN FUCKING EWOKS.

........ HOW DID THE EMPIRE TAKE OVER AGAIN??????!!!!!!!!!!! SO THE EWOKS WON APPARENTLY which is fucking bullshit, and luke refuses to fight vader, but when vader tries to intimidate him, by using leia, luke goes ape shit, and then he cuts vader's hand, then palpatine is like "kill him! and take his place as my apprentice" then luke decides not to give into the darkside.

..... but this dawns unto me, why should he? why can't he just kill vader AND palpatine?? why should he become palpatine's aprentice after killing vader?? they never explain why it would happen, what is it because, "THE DARK SIDE!!! OOOOOOOOOO!.

.." luke doesn't kill vader, then THROWING AWAY HIS MEANS OF DEFENSE AGAINST THE FUCKING SITH, then palpatine shoots luke with force lighting, and then suddenly, vader decides to be a good guy.

... how very convenient, and throw the sith lord off a cliff.... instead of using luke's lightsaber to kill him or the sith's lightsaber, but instead picks him up and throws the sith down the hole.

... then after the death star is blown up and other stuff, they all live happily ever after... honestly the only things I like about the movie are the lightsaber battle, the confrontation of father and son, yoda's farewell, palpatine, and seeing vader as a human being, other then those, the movie fails.

.... if your a die hard fan of star wars, check it out as a means of closing the book (until the 7th episode is made and comes out), most of you think its great, but I think its the 3rd worst star wars movie ever.

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