Review of Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2016) by K Nife C — 15 Mar 2017

Be warned, you might need to take Ritalin and jump on a trampoline in a room full of strobe lights to prepare yourself for viewing the (hopefully) final chapter in the Resident Evil "saga". I'll be damned if Paul W.

S. Anderson isn't doing his best to keep the zombiefied corpse of this video game franchise's remarkably boring story line burning for whoever would care to watch instead of play. As you might have picked up, it is a jarring experience for anyone used to being able to see what's going on.

Thanks to Doobie White's Parkinson's-disease-on-meth style editing, there isn't a single shot sustained longer than 6 seconds. That's not hyperbole. I was counting during the whole movie to be sure.

Action movies tend to be paced faster than other genre flicks, but this is at least headache inducing, if not nauseating. Generally, quick cuts are used to cover for poor fight choreography, but in this instance, it is done to the detriment of the action.

As for the plot, the first five films are summed up quickly and conveniently within 10 minutes (just so you don't ever have to watch them). Then Leeloo from "The Fifth Element" and Jorah from "Game of Thrones" hit each other (or each other's clones) for the next hour and a half.

Anderson, who is married to lead actress Mila Jovovich, has evidently never tired of putting his wife in the same plot for six films, and they obviously have fun doing them together. It's just not very fun or interesting to watch.

As he considers himself a "populist" film maker with no concern for critical acclaim, one can either despise or admire him making crap for cash, but when he's already made back the film's budget seven-fold, who can blame him?