Review of Resident Evil: Retribution (2012) by Edgar C — 01 Sep 2013

When you make an ambitious film and the past has proven that you do not have the ability to handle it, chaos ensues. This is the third time that Paul Wasted Sperm Anderson sits in the directorial chair and the second time he fails big time in an unforgivable way, but this was the worst.

Aiming at a thousand directions, it suddenly lost its course and forgot that the entire premise is an apocalyptic biological virus spread. So we have:

- An attempt of Paul to copy Zack Snyder's suburban opening zombie disaster, just to remember the old days *sigh...*.

- Stupid melodrama. I love kids, even if they are normally annoying in films featuring adult themes, but I just wanted Becky to die. She didn't work as a reminder of Alice having a family past.

- Characters from the previous films being resurrected by "Umbrella cloning" in the most preposterous of all ways.

- Those damn overused and cheap Matrix remnants.

- An embarrassing ending that I wish is handled properly in the future. Yes, I have a remarkable hope. Maybe it is not hope anymore; it is naivete.

- Nothing makes fucking sense.

So, why the hell do I keep watching? Because if it has Milla Jovovich wearing a tight, dark S & M suit kicking ass with guns, big knives, a horrible editing and sexy poses, I fall like a mouse in a trap! Damn you, neurons!

38/100.