Review of Red Riding Hood (2011) by Charlotte B — 08 Apr 2012

It's a sad day indeed when gary oldman alone can't save a film. (and that's from someone who pretty much thinks gary oldman is a deity.) and I know how much effort and love it takes to make even a crappy, horrible movie.

and i'm sure this crappy, horrible movie took a lot of love and effort. sigh. if only it had been advertised as a spoof, a parody, then we'd have been on board. but, alas, they were *serious*: serious about the love interest, peter, swaggering around as though he were in a a music video (i'm sure somewhere in there I heard someone announce, "shiloh, you're needed on the gossip girl set.

.."), serious about the overindulgent close-ups of everyone's eyes (who could the wolf BE?), serious about the eyebrow-scrunching lack of any actual emotional conflict, serious about the need for a "here's what happened" flashback because the plot didn't actual lead us there, serious about the wolves being borrowed from the twilight franchise--but at half the budget (anyone remember the never ending story? way better, scarier wolf!), serious about laughable, forced "sexy" moments blech, serious about SPOILER ALERT the wolf saying "come away with me" instead of what the wolf really would have said, "hey, it's your DAD, we're moving.

pack a lunch," and, alas, serious about not realizing that the audience was rooting for the protagonist to end up with henry NOT peter! d'oh, rookie mistakes, to be sure. if you must see this film, get a bottle of something and drink every time you groan; you'll be hammered before the inciting incident.

I went from half a star to one whole star because i'm taking into account the fact that some movies don't have gary oldman in them...