Review of Red Riding Hood (2011) by Rick R — 21 Aug 2014

So I finally got around to watching this d*mn movie. I had expectations on seeing it sooner but that was before they watered it down to a PG 13 rating. To me they would have done a much better film with edgier and more mature visualization of this classic tale. So I waited and THANK Godz I did!!!

I am not saying that this filmed sucked because it didn't but quite frankly it didn't get me going. The most exciting thing I can say about it is "the cape was pretty". So brilliant and crimson and flowing and against the snow and dark forest (which by the way "rocked").

Sadly though there was no real gut-wrenching suspense and no hard action. The scenes were almost impotent and "so what". I did however like the fact that it kept me guessing about the wolf. Who was it? The whole time I was thinking the mother or later the grandmother but then (oh this is all spoiler sh*t so don't read it....if that type stuff bothers you.) Then to find out who the wolf was just seemed so satisfying. It was the films only saving grace. Quiet frankly I would have love to seen more sexual tension and graphic violence. After all it is a werewolf film. Those b*tches are sloppy eaters, people! No they had to tone it down for the kiddies. This was basically a love story on a censored dime store wave of "why the f*ck make this d*mn film if nothing real is gonna come from the experience".

I would have had better things to say about this film but I could not find much. Here is what I thought was great about the film. The actors did great jobs bringing these characters to life. The cinematography was epic and beautifully shot. The houses in the village made me actually want to go out into the deep dark forest and build a short stilted cottage to live in till the end of time. Oh and the two rival lovers of Red were both pleasing to the eye. Just too bad they didn't show the goods. That is all I am saying!