Review of Ratchet & Clank (2016) by Patrick L — 29 Jan 2017

"Ratchet & Clank is a Cartoon Network pilot disguised as a movie.".

DVD Movie Review: Ratchet & Clank.

Date Viewed: September 6 2016.

Directed By Kevin Munroe (TMNT).

Written By T.J. Fixman, Kevin Munroe and Gerry Swallow, Based on the Playstation video game from Insomniac Games.

Featuring the voices of Paul Giamatti, John Goodman, Rosario Dawson, Bella Thorne, James Arnold Taylor, David Kaye, Jim Ward, Armin Shimerman, Vincent Tong and Sylvester Stallone.

There is nothing to appreciate about "Ratchet & Clank". It's a Cartoon Network pilot disguised as a movie. There is also nothing innovative, creative or original about this movie. The plot involves a sphinx-like hero and his pint-sized robot companion as they go on a familiarly dangerous mission to stop a ruthless alien named Chairman Drek. The real dreck here is this movie which was directed by Kevin Munroe who previously helmed "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles", not the 1990 or 2014 live-action films, just the 2007 junk-food flavored animated feature known as "TMNT".

The sad thing about "Ratchet & Clank" is the cast, it consists of talented actors such as Rosario Dawson, John Goodman, Paul Giamatti (who unfortunately voices our main villain, Chairman Drek) and Sylvester Stallone. Do they need the money this badly? "Ratchet & Clank" is based on the Playstation video game series and that's all you need to know. The plot is predictably standard and it completely borrows elements from two other sci-fi franchises, "Star Wars" and "Guardians of the Galaxy".

Over the past two decades, video games have had a poor track record of making the leap from the gaming console to the big screen and that trend continues with "The Angry Birds Movie", "Warcraft", "Ratchet & Clank" and the same goes for the upcoming holiday blockbuster "Assassin's Creed" which stars Michael Fassbender. Where are those controls? Is there a pause button anywhere? Oh that's right, bad movies that have controls. DAMN IT!

The story revolves around our villain Drek (Giamatti) who's the leader of an alien race named the Blarg and he owns the Deplanetizer, a space station that has the power to destroy planets. What a minute! Drek owns a space station that can destroy planets! UH OH! I think Darth Vader might be planning to sue Drek for copyright infringement. Drek first tests his weapon on a planet named Tenemule and it gets completely wiped out by the Deplanetizer.

We then cut to Ratchet (voiced by James Arnold Taylor), a spaceship mechanic who thinks that he is meant for something more. He lives on the planet Veldin with his mentor, Grimroth Razz (voiced by Goodman) and he learns in the news that three planets have mysteriously disappeared and it's up to the Galactic Rangers to control the situation. The rangers are looking for a new recruit to join their team and they travel to Veldin to find their new ranger. Ratchet has always looked up to the Galactic Rangers as personal role models and he always dreamed of joining the Rangers. Hold on, a young long-shot rookie from a desert planet who dreams of joining a heroic rebellion? Again, does this ring any bells?

Ratchet attempts to join but he gets rejected by Galactic Ranger Captain Captain Qwark (voiced by Jim Ward) for being small and for being a Luke Skywalker imitator. The only thing that could prevent "Ratchet & Clank" from being a "Star Wars" knock-off is by not having a droid land on Veldin but a pint-sized intelligent robot named Clank (voiced by David Kaye) just happens to land on the planet where Ratchet finds him and takes him to his home. COME ON! Are you even trying to be original?

Clank explains that he was created in Chairman Drek's warbot factory on planet Quartu and he acquired Drek's plans for galactic domination and escaped from the planet. Let's see, a robot who steals a space station's plans and then escapes to a desert planet where he finds a heroic companion? Okay, this movie is for-sure, obviously and 100% ripping-off "Star Wars".

Ratchet & Clank fly to the Galactic Rangers' home world of Kerwan to try and warn them of Drek's plans but they manage to help and save the Rangers from appending doom by defeating Drek's robot army. Ratchet & Clank's heroics make them heroes and this makes Captain Qwark (who's always a magnet for TV cameras and autographs) jealous. With Chairman Drek planning to destroy other planets in the Solona Galaxy, the Galactic Rangers led by Qwark, Cora Veralux (voiced by Bella Thorne), Brax Lectrus (voiced by Vincent Tong) and Elaris (voiced by Dawson) who's the brains of the team make Ratchet & Clank honorary rangers and they train them for upcoming missions.

Stunned by the news that a sphinx cat and a small robot defeated his mighty robot army, Drek and his second-in-command, Victor Von Ion (voiced by Stallone) now plan to use fragments from all the planets they've destroyed and combine them together to create a planet for themselves. We then go to the big shocker of this movie, Captain Qwark betrays the team and joins Drek because he's still jealous at Ratchet because he has taken his fame and heroic leadership away from him. Buddy get over it! First of all! If you would've listened more to your team and been more brave and courageous instead of being a fame-seeker, you wouldn't be in this situation!

"Ratchet & Clank" is lazy and generic family fare at its worst. It's among the worst animated films of the year and 2016 has been a particularly strong year for family films and animation. The animation here is mediocre and the voice-work is really bad. You may notice that there is a lot of familiar lines in this movie such as "I was meant for something more", "Just give me a chance!", "Annihilate Them!" and "Destroy Them All!".

"Ratchet & Clank" should've crash-landed into the world of "Zootopia" or "Wreck-It Ralph", then we would've had a better movie but as it is, it's nothing more than galactic garbage.