Review of Rambo III (1988) by Juan F — 22 Aug 2008

In the second Rambo film, our monosyllabic hero got to live out the remains of his Vietnam issues - which are the only interesting thing about him - by going back to where it all started. It was still a tiny-brained action movie, but at least it wasn't plucking random threats for its hero to face. Rambo III, however, pits the surly-looking one against Russians in Afghanistan, which has little to do with him as a character. He's rescuing people again (this time it's Colonel Trautman, who finally gets something to do, yet is still somehow restricted to telling the villain about how screwed he'll be once Rambo catches up), doing similar stunts in damaged helicopters, and even pulling the old exploding arrows trick again. This is not a terribly original film even by Rambo's standards, and the topical setting doesn't change anything. Where it doesn't limply repeat the previous film, it just drags. And as for the flag-waving in honour of the "gallant men of Afghanistan", it would probably mean more not coming from a guy who rams a helicopter in a tank and lives. This is Hollywood. What do they know?

It's too slow at the start, despite the rather gratuitous stick-fighting scene (which is, among other things, rightly mocked in Hot Shots!: Part Deux), and Stallone spends the whole film looking faintly depressed. Rambo still isn't an interesting character, and the film, much like him, is completely and fatally po-faced. It all looks dusty and dull, despite the occasional massacre, and the villains are boring cookie cutter military types of no interest whatsoever.

You'd think the more emotional angle, that being Rambo specifically doing all this to rescue his friend, would add something. But there's no discernible friendship between the two. At least, none that I can see: Rambo, a man of few words, is also allowed few emotions. Sadly, the action heroes we love to watch are the ones with personalities: the John McClanes, the Indiana Joneses. Rambo is just Jason Vorhees working for the good guys, so he's boring.

It's slow and not as meaningful as it thinks. I've already forgotten a lot of it. There's yet another horrendously sloppy song at the end. Really, you might as well watch Hot Shots!: Part Deux instead, or if you're really determined, just watch Rambo II again.