Review of Queen Bee (1955) by Bob V — 20 Jul 2011

Unfortunately, this movie is not simply Joan Crawford being evil and glamorous at every turn. Instead, it is some Tennessee Williams/All About Eve wannabe in which Joan Crawford is glamorous at every turn, but her evil is only on-again-off-again and every other character is wooden, unlikeable, and unappealing (except one, who hangs herself at the halfway mark. I probably would've, too, if I were in this movie). If we're supposed to be on anyone's side, I don't know whose it's supposed to be. And all the mystery and intrigue that we're supposed to be uncovering under the facade of Southern decorum is only slightly mysterious and almost as intriguing as a deviled egg recipe.

On top of that, it is sooooooo slow-moving. All could be forgiven if it had zipped along and gotten over with in a more reasonable amount of time or if more stuff had happened so we could have edited out some of the scenes of stodgy men stomping around looking constipated and poor Cousin Crybaby-Wah-Wah fretting around looking worried and pitiful.

Also, this should have been in glorious technicolor. What good is that gown on the grand staircase if we can't see it set against a blaze of red hair and huge red eyebrows?

On the plus side, there's a good slapping scene. Rather unexpected, and a good, solid smack with plenty of guilt afterward.