Review of Python (2000) by Brittany R — 15 Jan 2008

This is a funny 'bad' movie that I saw on the Sci-Fi channel during a week of 'creature feature' films each with monsters/aliens/creatures on the rampage.

In Python (2002) a cargo plane carrying a gigantic killer snake (genetically modified of course) crash lands near a sleepy American town and it begins eating the locals. With each kill there is left behind a pile of acid-burnt bones due to super-corrosive venom the snake uses on it's victims.

The local Deputy Dawg sheriff suspects the corpses are the work of a hunky, extreme sports enthusiast who owns a toxic waste plant in partnership with his much steadier brother. A military team of Special Forces turn up to recapture the snake (led by 'Rico' from Starship Troopers) but the snake is far too clever and outwits them, so it's left to the sports enthusiast to save the day.

Python really is a bad film. It looked like a bunch of kids decided to make a movie during their summer High School break with the use of a camera, a skeleton from the science lab, and some really bad CGI (the like normally seen in computer games ... for windows 95).

To conserve the film's meager budget it tried its best not to show us the snake too much and padded itself out with scenes where the hero is arguing with his brother about running their late father's toxic waste plant, falling in love with some girl and coming under suspicion for murder then clearing his name.

There were some positive highlights; at the start of the film the snake slithers in the bushes up to a pair of lesbians (good looking ones) making love during a camping trip at some mountain love nest. How ironic, they got together to eat some bush and got themselves eaten in a bush. Mind you, they did try and seek protection from the 50-foot beast (which can take a sizeable bite out of a house) by zipping themselves up in their flimsy canvas tent.

Another moment that made me laugh: the ridiculous chase scene where the extreme-sports hero takes off on his bike with the snake snapping at his peddling heels but not before he starts off he takes the time to strap on his crash-helmet. Oh yes, safety first kids.