Review of Prometheus (2012) by Alittletooquiet — 15 Jun 2012

In an effort to prove that George Lucas isn't the only director who can ruin an iconic cultural force from the 70s and 80s, Ridley Scott has provided a series of moronic answers to all the questions you never asked about Alien.

This steaming pile manages to be filled alternately with both an offensive lack of nuance and subtlety and also such glaring plot holes that it makes me wonder which the writers hold in more contempt: The Alien franchise, or its fans?

Once you get past the cheesy opening scene, the film actually starts off fairly well, building a strong sense of growing terror on a foundation of naive hopefulness, but descends into a pointless mess in the third act. In those rare moments where it manages to be unpredictable, it is idiotic and nonsensical. Where the original Alien was a delicate tool which built a sense of dread by subtle implication and rare, quick glimpses of the creature, Prometheus is a club, smashing you in the head with overt and cartoonish monstrosities meant to appeal only to the dumbest humanity has to offer.

I will give it a couple of points for some beautiful cinematography and the compellingly creepy performance of Michael Fassbender, but those qualities aren't enough to outweigh its obvious and innumerable flaws.