Review of Prometheus (2012) by Dpark4 — 18 Jun 2012

This movie did do it's job: keep me entertained. But entertained for the wrong reasons when watching a movie. I found myself entertained by the absolutely ridiculous and preposterous experiences that occur in nearly every scene.

I could only compare the plot line of Prometheus to be congruous to the imagination of an avid six year old child. The movie starts out promising; a series of cave drawings and ancient symbols that leave you wondering about the possible link between ancient civilizations and the unknown universe.

Sadly, no such link exists in this movie, simply leaving the viewer more puzzled. This is only the first of dozens of irrelevant plot lines that sprout off of the main, hideous plot. The crew of the ship is a squad of incompetent so-called scientists who, throughout the course of the movie, manage to stuff unknown alien heads into duffle bags, then proceed to blow it up after 3 minutes; get lost in the most simplistic of tunnels, even with the technology of 2094, then approach and be instantly killed by a 12 inch snake; open the door for a previous crew mate, who is so blatantly obviously infected (with an unexplained dark liquid) who wipes out nearly every member of the crew; the list goes on.

On top of all of this, Prometheus contains the worst imagery that I have ever seen in my life, rivaling Two Girls One Cup. Shaw, apparently, burstingly pregnant with an octopus, knocks out some crew members with ease, then gives her self a cesarean section, staples herself up, and walks away, leaving her newborn octopus squirming in a glass chamber.

This newborn octopus, with no nearby food, grows over 20 feet long, opens the glass chamber by itself, and then easily rapes the superhuman of the universe.