Review of Prometheus (2012) by Thecruelcritic — 14 Jun 2012

Amazing. This movie is so terrible I find enjoyment in pointing out it's flaws. Obviously the script was so poorly written that they made up for it by vague implications of philosophical questions about existence.

In the hopes that their audience was too high from illicit drugs, and mesmerized from the graphics departments high budget visual effects to notice. The acting was either so over the top, or so emotionally dry they had to play a portion of a good movie to fool you into believing they made a good movie.

Although the beginning I found rather whimsical in it's introduction of rolling landscapes, and a waterfall. I now find tacky, and disappointing. The characters or scientists prove themselves to be nothing more than a bunch of vagrants an eccentric old business man that looks like Johnny Knoxville dressed as an old person found in the closest bar, and put aboard a ship with a robot that apparently runs on chicken wire, paper mache, and tapioca pudding.

Nothing scientific happens in this movie other than the occasional add-lib of "Hypothesis" and calling everyone a doctor before they speak to them. Their method of command is nothing less shallow then a group of drunk twenty somethings trying to drink, take drugs, and **** each other.

Each person is only capable of making poor life decisions that will inevitably get themselves or someone else killed. Even the aliens weren't consistent as if the writer's could never fully agree on what was actually on the planet, but decided to put their own story in, and not tell anyone until it came to theaters.

Every action scene was lame, and anticlimatic that made you wonder why would they do that? Pointlessly leaping over gaps when what you are standing on will slowly shuttle you to solid ground, running in straight lines from falling objects moving in one direction, acting like the dog whisperer to an alien worm nut sack, leaving safety to race a harmless razor sandstorm, opening the door to your dead exorcist geologist co-worker.

Ridiculous. On top of it all, the way this movie portrayed itself was like it was groundbreaking on all of your scifi, action, horror movie senses that it was delusional from the fumes of it's own mystical self worth.

It was non of these. Sadly, the blatantly obvious undertones of religion, the constant there is going to be another movie implications, and the superficial life questions confused as depth made this movie completely miserable to watch.

In fact the only satisfaction I have is from knowing other people think it is as terrible as I do, and be able ridicule it online.