Review of Prometheus (2012) by Sablcious — 13 Jun 2012

Embarrassed: The word that flooded my mind while watching this dismaying display of brain dead cinema by the director of seminal sci-fi works like Blade Runner and Alien. Embarrassed for the Alien franchise the film is supposed to be predicated upon and is now forever soiled because of Prometheus. Embarrassed for the script, seemingly scrawled on a few sheets of used toilet paper by a TV writer who should stay the hell away from the big screen. Embarrassed for the actors who will surely endure many-a dinner party jibe at their expense from peers bemused at their self-demeaning displays in this fatuous film. Embarrassed for myself for wasting 2 hours of my life that I will never get back and countless brain cells likely fried in the process of trying to fathom the stupidity on display before my eyes in this film. EMBARRASSED for the human race, that we've apparently stooped so low as to accept this kind of egregious schlock as legitimate entertainment. I'm even embarrassed for the **** Irruminator' monster that was obviously plagiarised from some 10-year-old's scribble book. (*It will become clear upon watching the film).

Prometheus is flawed on so many and varied levels that it's almost an admirable effort to manage such a confluence of poor film-making in one, single piece of work. How this film went so wrong when having so much going for it, is a question for the ages.

Unless it's eventually revealed Prometheus was an industry in-joke, aimed at poking fun at the dullard dolt demographic the industry now predominantly panders to, then I cannot see this film becoming anything more than a byword for abjectly bad cinema.

3/10 (*because no film is a 1 and there are some worse than Prometheus... SOME).