Review of Prom Night (2011) by Andy A — 17 Jul 2009

Okay, as far as horror films go this one is actually quite the stinker. In this case I would have actually preferred cheesy, corny moments of exaggerated blood, pointless mayhem and poor plot twists compared to what they serve up here.

The best way to really put this nicely is that the movie was remarkably unremarkable--even by B-movie standards. There really is nothing here to admire, it's just...well...blah. Since they probably tried to garner profits from the teenage demographic they skimped on the R-rating and went for the PG-13 version instead.

There is no sex. No bloody violence. No suspense. There simply is nothing to really make this a "horror" movie because nothing about it was horrifying or startling in either the good sense or the bad.

There's a simple stalker story: a psycho with an obsession--a teacher pining in the worst way for one of his former students--completely cardboard and stereotypical. One minute he's just a Manson-look-alike in Bedlam and the next minute he magically busts into some super-stealthy-ultra-efficient-cool-as-ice serial killer who's as instinctively adept at slashing and hiding bodies as a golden retriever is to hiding bones.

Okay, suspension of disbelief is still intact. Then there's the protagonists. A bunch of girls fretting over corsages, losing their virginity and Alpha-male boy toys that look or act nothing like any real human beings should at that age.

And even IF we are really just there to see them filleted like a MacDonald's fish sandwich, the pay-off is even more disappointing than the cliches since there's only the suggestion of death; and it is done not in the good ol' Hitchcockian method either.

Can't forget about that PG rating right? Sighs...Why am I writing this review? Bottom line: boring as HELL.