Review of Private School (1983) by Josh G — 16 Aug 2008

Private School... for girls! is not for girls at all, really. It's pretty much the definition of a teen sex flick, with a focus on showing as much partial-to-full female nudity as possible, all at the expense of the story.

Don't get me wrong, I'm as much a fan of partial-to-full female nudity as the next guy, but it's not entirely fun to watch a bunch of immoral guys fawning over a bunch of mindless women.

The girls are little more than sex objects in Private School. At one point, one of the girls unbuttons her shirt and bares her breasts while horse-riding to impress a boy that she likes. It's not much later that her shirt is removed completely, while she continues to ride around topless.

Meanwhile, the guys exist for no other purpose than to try to see the girls naked. The conflict in the movie (which is kind of on a back-burner for the length of the movie) includes Christine's decision whether or not to sleep with her boyfriend, who she loves, while he is attempting to sleep with another girl. When first-girl finds out that he has dressed up as a woman in order to get into second-girl's bedroom, the movie expects us to feel sorry for the man because, you know, he really does love first-girl... just not enough to stop himself from going to elaborate heights to get into another chick's pants, apparently.

Sure, it's cheesy and sort of fun, regardless of the misleading portrayals of both men and women. Yes, the movie does try to have a sweet plot-line for the ladies (because, you know, men are too tough for that lovey-dovey shit)...

but then again, it does end with a freeze-frame of the entire graduating class of Cherryvale Girls' School (get it???) mooning the camera.

So, I mean, that's what you're getting into.