Review of Prince of Darkness (1987) by David C — 01 Jun 2009

Please, please allow me to spoil this movie for you.

The God of the known universe, who wills the movement of every sub-atomic particle is actually named Plutonium. However, as every particle also has an anti-particle, its mirror image, its negative side, there also exists another universal mind: a dark, Anti-God.

This Anti-God walked the earth before Man existed, but was somehow banished to a parallel "darkside" dimension. Before he was however, he created a son, named Satan, who was a green gas/liquid capable of possessing human beings and bringing Anti-God back. Satan was then buried in a cylinder under what would later become Los Angeles.

*twitch*.

Around 32 BCE, a human-like race of extra-terrestrials decides to warn Mankind about this threat by sending one of their own: Jesus Christ. However, Man was not ready to accept his "truth" about existence and the authorities, thinking him insane, kill him. His disciples keep his secrets, and write them down in a book to be kept with the cylinder containing Satan until Man develops a technology sophisticated enough to prove Jesus' claim.

Gnaa...

The Roman church, wishing to downplay Jesus' message decides to hide all of this from the world and characterize the ultimate evil anti-god as a spiritual force - an evil in the hearts of men - because it was a more "convenient" idea that kept Man at the center of existence... essentially a lie. A forgotten and top secret sect of monks/priests called The Brotherhood of Sleep is created to watch over the cylinder. The Brotherhood, when near the cylinder, all have the same reoccurring dream of Satan emerging as a shadowy figure from the church where the cylinder is being kept. This dream is revealed to be a message: a tachyon transmission from the future. The message is from the year 1999, when Satan is reborn through human flesh to reach through a glowing mirror and bring his father the anti-god back from the shadow dimension to....

BlEEEEEAAAAAAAAARG!!

*twitch*.

Sorry.

Brain exploded. Too much stupidity.