Review of Prehysteria! 2 (1994) by Scott S — 17 Jun 2008

Ah. Prehysteria! Deuce. This movie probably takes up about a third or so of my childhood, so imagine my delight when I found a copy at the Goodwill. Sadly, a copy of the first one was nowhere to be found, so I'll have to make do.

Anyhoo, as many of you know, nostalgia doesn't really chalk up to anything you loved being any good at all EVER. Such is the case with Prehysteria! 2. What an awful movie. Thank god it only cost me a couple bucks. The only good and halfway humorous scene is the very first, where the dinosaurs escape from old man MacGregor's greenhouse and get packed up in a crate of Sun Maid raisins. The rest of the movie is total crap.

First off, the opening credits are about ten minutes long. And it's not like there's any plot buildup happening behind them, it's just a bunch of unknown names, slowly fading in and slowly fading out. Then the rest of the movie is spent finding out the rich kid is a little dick and the dinosaurs don't do jack SQUAT. They sit around laughing, or whatever the dinosaur equivalent of that is, eating, and looking around. Things are only accomplished when the dinosaurs are at risk, and the heroes have to hustle and bustle to save their tiny asses.

The video box tries to play up the villain's evil scheme, but nothing of the sort is really mentioned real threateningly until the last fifteen minutes, or so. And see that scene on the box cover? Never happens. That pteradon, or whatever, breaks its wing in the first scene, so you don't see any flying at all. BULL.

In short, FUCK PREHYSTERIA! 2.