Review of Predator 2 (1990) by Ryan M — 18 Jul 2010

2.1/10.

The sequel to "Predator" is full of blood. Good for you, Stephen Hopkins. Now where's the entertainment? Hopkins manages to deliver a truly revolting sci-fi sequel. "Predator 2" is in every way a deadly and painful mess of a film. Yes, it has blood and (failed) attempts at action sequences, but without Schwarzenegger yelling "Get to the Chopper!" when such a phrase is needed, "Predator 2" is just plain stupid. It's a perfect example of how a promising start to a popular franchise can go all wrong when a second coming is attempted. It's not as if "Predator" was anything special to begin with but hey, at least it was entertainment. "Predator 2" surprisingly can't even entertain with what it has: Ridiculousness and bloody violence. Yes, there are actually some films that are good because they are so ridiculous that it's fun. But "Predator 2" is not fun. It's bleak, grim, and always lame instead of badass, thrilling, and always awesome (like the original was for the most part). "Predator 2" also feels quite uncertain of where it is supposed to go. It's almost as if Danny Glover and his fellow Predator hunters are out in LA without a purpose or direction, thus creating a movie that is anything but entertaining. It would probably be best if you simply avoided "Predator 2" until you have an already depressing day going that can't possibly be ruined further.

"Predator 2" lacks development in every way. That goes for the characters, the plot, and what the hell a Predator is doing in Las Angeles. The plot centers on a "police man" who has enough trouble to begin with, since LA is experiencing a certain "street war". Michael Harrigan is the leading man of his team of (undeveloped) policemen/policewoman. For a while, he's not able to stop the shootouts in the streets or the murders that lead to only the same "war", but soon more trouble comes to big LA. Remember our old pal Predator? Well, somehow he's in LA, and he's ready to skin some more humans and crash some more parties. Of course, it's a different Predator this time around, but for the whole film (up until the dreadful final act) you wonder how the hell he got in LA. As it turns out, the Spaceship landed somewhere there, so he went outside to do a little hunting. I feel that the little details don't matter when it comes to "Predator 2". It's simply not worth the experience. The characters are way too undeveloped, and the plot never goes anywhere. The film is almost never entertaining, and even the Predator isn't cool anymore. "Predator" could have spawned a good sequel, but not one that was set in LA. Also, it would have to be devoid of Stephen Hopkins completely. He annoys the hell out of me, and most likely every Predator fan out there.

Really, Danny Glover is the best they could get? He can never be the new Schwarzenegger. He can never hunt Predators with the same amount of genuine awesomeness. Good thing he knows that. Danny Glover isn't absolutely revolting in the film, but his dialogue is equally as cheesy as everyone else's, and he's simply not a proper action star. He attempts to bring in new quotes and good action, but instead he bore me to tears. Sadly, the Predator 2 team is a little too large, and full of pure disappointment. None of the actors are good. Even Kevin Peter Hall can't save this poorly cast movie from being the awful and misguided failure that it already is.

"Predator 2" is also a visual disaster. "Predator" wasn't exactly visually stunning, but it was pretty solid. I liked the design of the infamous Predator, and the film was none the less well shot. So the problem in "Predator 2" is this: It's a visually lame, poorly shot marvel of failure. The actual Predator doesn't exactly look any worse, but he doesn't quite fit in as good to this new setting of LA. The CGI feels pretty bad, even for a 1990 film. None of it is particularly pretty, thanks to murky lighting. It's not as bad lighting as AVPR (which is one of cinema's worst films yet), but it's still some unappealing stuff. The cinematography is bad and never unique. None of it feels new. No surprises there. The music feels pretty much borrowed from the original Predator, and that's too bad considering that none of the music in "Predator" was that amazing anyways. But then again, it wasn't a complete musical disaster either. "Predator" entertained me because it knew that it was another gloriously ridiculous action thriller. "Predator 2" does not entertain me at all because it's not ridiculous in a good way. It's not even fun. The action sequences are very much lifeless. They are mindless and uninspired. I hated all of them. None of them entertained me, and even die-hard action fans will probably despise the hint of bleakness in the film's atmosphere. As for the blood, there's a good amount of it, but that doesn't exactly matter when that seems to come before a plot or even a heart. And apparently when you're Stephen Hopkins, blood is not cheap. It comes at the expense of intelligence.

"Predator 2" is a mess and a really big one too. It's not one you want to clean up, or even support. It's also a very, very ugly one. It's a mess that's abundant with every single flaw possible, with a little bit of added blood to keep (some) of the audience at least wanting to rent the movie. But I warn you right now to stay away from it. This is a bad film, and it's definitely too long for what it is. It's not worth a solid Hour and Forty Eight minutes, which could easily be used on a much better movie. See it. Don't see it. Does it matter? Not hardly. Will you be missing out if you don't see it? What do you think? That's for you to decide. Will we miss "Predator 2"? I don't think we will. It's more forgettable than most action films in recent memory. Hell, why call it an action movie? It fails to be one of those too. It's not even stupid enough to be entertaining. That's a shame. I wanted "Predator" to have a sequel that was good. Again, that's a shame that it wasn't granted one.