Review of Postman (1995) by Stevie S — 15 Jun 2011

Oh my god, CHEEEEEESE! The best possible kind too! When I was a kid, The Postman was boring as shit, but now it's basically my favourite comedy EVER! I could not stop laughing. It's amazing! Well no, it's a terrible movie, but that's the fuckin' beauty of it! Kevin Costner always embarrasses himself when he tries to direct.

But boy am I glad he fucking tries! I think The Postman was supposed to be his Braveheart. In his mind, it probably was. He's always seemed a bit simple to me. Tom Petty's cameo was a good choice though sir! I cannot stress CHEESE enough! If you can't appreciate quality fromage, you should probably avoid The Postman because you will hate it and demand those three very long hours of your life back.

Ohmygod!, that one scene where Kevin Costner misses the little boy's letter and then turns around and gallops back in slow motion to grab it, has to be one of the LAMEST and FUNNIEST things I have ever seen in a film.

I kept screaming "YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!" but I don't think he heard me through the t.v. Sigh. And then ending the fucking movie by unveiling a sculpture of Costner on his horse grabbing the letter from the boy, is just ridiculous! Who the fuck was there to see that? Either, A) Kevin Costner went around town bragging about picking up some random kid's letter to Santa; B) The boy grew up to be Michelangelo; or C) He sculpted it himself.

All three are really lame when you think about it. I don't think you're meant to think about it, but alas, my answer is C. It seems like the Kevin Costner thing to do. And there ain't nothin' wrong with that! This movie is a HUGE guilty pleasure of mine.

I love it to death!