Review of Postal (2007) by Brendan H — 25 Aug 2008

We all know that Uwe Boll is one of the worst directors of all time, and that's something I believe will never change. I love giving people chances, even if they're complete failures since the beginning, though my sympathy doesn't expand to Pauly Shore's level, which he shares with Tom Arnold and the makers of Meet the Spartans. Postal is based upon a video game, the typical outing for Boll and after seeing it, I can't see this being a video game in the slightest, the story doesn't have that game like structure. I'm not saying that's a bad thing but when you even look at Boll when he's trying to make something feel unique he falls flat on his face, he's just not a good storyteller. Overall I'm one of the few who doesn't hate this guy, he's doing what he loves, making bad movies, but he's getting better. Postal is an example that Boll is becoming more of a filmmaker than visual torture creator, but Postal is also an example that he still has a long way to go.

Postal does have a pretty nice cast, but the things it does with it isn't all that, exceptional, to the point where I just don't get why these guys signed up for this crap, especially when Uwe Boll's name is on it. I can see someone like Dave Foley doing this, his finest hour was when a Bug's Life came out way back, but J.K. Simmons, who's character is killed brutally and his overall screen time was so small, didn't make sense. However Boll does it, he gets some good people to carry out his corrupted dream. Even Mini Me is in this, but no one cares about him since Austin Powers went sour. The film throughout does get the actors running around, doing a lot but that doesn't do anything at all for the movie. I believe that most involved were all in their for just a quick buck. Must admit though, Uwe Boll had a funny cameo in which he ended up getting shot and at that moment, everyone around me cheered. At least Boll knows how to make fun of himself, but not how to take himself seriously.

The movie runs on being extremely vulgar and violent, I have never seen a movie like this trying to be so flippin offensive it boasts about it every second. And unfortunately, it doesn't end up being all that funny. I must admit I laughed maybe about five times, the hardest when Boll was shot brutally to death, but then it brings on a whole montage of kids getting killed, dick shaped children's dolls and Osama Bin Laden taking a break from making threatening videos and watching Oprah, it just gets either disturbing or unfunny. It spends too much time being those things and not enough time being unique, in a good way, there's good unique and there's bad unique, Postal reeks bad unique. And so, when you're not laughing those five times, you're wanting to boo at the bad political satire or barf at the disturbing stuff Boll just loves to show.

In the end, Postal is Boll's best film so far, but again, that isn't saying much. You still get that shallow experience feel when you're watching and see that it really was just a cheap ploy to get your money, which it actually failed to do in the end, you're risking a lot when you open the same day as Indiana Jones: Kingdom of the Chrystal Skull. It's nice though that through the whole thing you're not getting lines like:

"Why would you want to be immortal?".

"To live forever.".

MAN THAT STUFF IS BAD!