Review of Postal (2007) by Jean-Paul S — 18 Oct 2008

So Uwe Boll has made a career out of making laughably bad "video-game-to-cinema" stinkers. Universally hated, mocked, and probably stalked by angry videogame fanboys, Uwe finally decided to make a movie that is part snuff-comedy, part B-movie, and plenty of "fuck you" to decent americans everywhere.

I, being inexplicably attracted to shitty movies and inexcusably curious, decided to pirate this movie (fuck you Uwe, you aren't getting my money).

In a nutshell, the younger brother from Titus and his cultist uncle steal a shipment of dolls shaped like genitals that end up containing the bird flu and get mixed up with the taliban and other flavors of religious zealots.

Multiple children are shot point blank, Uwe (appearing as himself) admits to financing his movies with nazi gold, an infant is run over with a truck, Vern "Mini Me" Troyer is raped by 1,000 monkeys, dozens of yokels and terrorists are massacred in a trailer park, a cop decimates an elderly asian woman with a shotgun, and Osama Bin Laden pulls a brokeback with George W. Bush by saying "I just wish I knew how to quit you" before they frolic, hand in hand, through a nuclear holocaust. Sound interesting? Sure - Sound like anything you would ever share with a normal human being? Nope...me neither.

So do yourself a favor and watch it....but not until the loser who wears black nail polish, sports a dimebag darrell goatee, sells you weed, and thinks he's your friend burns you a copy.