Review of Poseidon (2006) by Matthew L — 05 Oct 2014

For me, as a kid, the Irwin Allen disaster pictures of the 1970's were about as good as movies could get, but my favorite was always "The Poseidon Adventure." Now, decades later come the remake, and it's pretty much disappointing in every way possible. Entitled simply "Poseidon," this ridiculously overproduced film budgeted at an astounding $160 million throws in some amazing special effects that simply were not possible in 1972.

Where it goes wrong, however, is at the script level which gives us pale imitations of the original cast without giving us a single person that we care about. They may seem silly now, but those Allen classics took the time (in some cases, a ridiculous amount of time) to introduce the players and give us their story. This film is all about those admittedly spectacular effects, and it rushes headstrong into the disaster at sea.

You miss the relationships that made the earlier film so unforgettable, and the bond between the survivors that made their deaths so heartbreaking. Like so many other big budgeted Hollywood productions, the remake gets the technical aspects right but fails to give us a story or characters worth following. These people are mere stereotypes rather than real people, but the acting is all serviceable enough. The only actor who lets you down is the usually reliable Richard Dreyfuss in an odd and strangely undignified supporting role.

As a movie, "Poseidon" looks great (for all that money, it better) but there's no heart here, no reason to keep watching. It's just empty.