Review of Poltergeist (2015) by Freeling10 — 29 May 2016

After a string of lackluster "reboots" of beloved favorite films (Robocop, Nightmare on Elm Street, Carrie, and the rest), I was dubious about this one from the beginning. The original is a contemporary classic that was groundbreaking for its time, and as long as you can ignore Beatrice Straight's gargantuan early '80s eyeglasses, it holds up well even today and never feels overly dated.

So I had little hope or much anticipation for this prospect. The trailer increased my curiosity level, though, and I allowed myself some excitement at the modernization possibilities, at the very least. Poltergeist with smart-phones, 24-hour TV and (hopefully) well-utilized CGI might possibly have potential, I thought. I was intrigued enough to postpone passing judgment prematurely. As Mickey and Mallory said, "Well, let's give that key lime pie a day in court.".

That said, I was unprepared for just how bad this movie is, on so many levels. Poltergeist (2015) is dull, listless, unimaginative, devoid of style, charmless, pedestrian, slapdash and everything that's truly terrible about run-of-the-mill. From a creative standpoint, decisions were made which inexplicably ignored and/or subverted precise factors which made Poltergeist (1982) such a success. Detailed, authentic characters from the first movie -- a family that inspired audiences to root for and care about them -- are replaced here by a bland bunch of nondescript losers who barely merit attention.

Similarly, the spirit and sensibility of the original film has no echo here; tonally, this narrative is by-the-numbers, managing to somehow feel both too rushed and yawn-inducing simultaneously. Moreover, the evocative richness of the '82 version -- the house, the neighborhood, the entire milieu -- is now just a standard fare. The house is flat and featureless; the suburb itself feels neither sinister nor supernatural. In fact, nothing much in this movie feels like anything at all.

It's hard to fathom why such crucial elements have been handled so clumsily and, more to the point, why this "reboot" was realized with complete disregard for the very elements which made 1982's Poltergeist so enduringly iconic.