Review of Police Academy (1984) by Vince K — 03 Aug 2010

Man, they sure don't make 'em like they used to! The '80s were probably the best decade for comedy, even the low-budget pieces of crap by todayâ??s standards are now beloved classics. There were so many greats - The Jerk, Caddyshack, National Lampoon's Vacation; but by far my favorite franchise had to be the Police Academy series.

I'm a huge fan of slapstick, and you can always count on some extremely fucked-up thing to happen in a Police Academy movie. I couldn't believe I was watching this today and still laughing my fucking ass off to it as much as I did when I was a kid.

Another great '80s premise - the Metropolitan Police Force changes it's policy to now accept applicants of all races, sex, and backgrounds (still no queers though, sorry) - so every nut in town comes to campus.

Do I really have to go through all the great, vibrantly colorful characters in this film? There's way too many to name. Donâ??t you know this? Well, let me remind you. Thereâ??s Hooks: the soft-spoken, shy, mousy, short and fat black woman who eventually shocks the audience by shouting at the top of her lungs with authority, which would be her gimmick through the rest of the sequels.

Then there's hot and hardcore militant busty blonde Sgt. Callahan. It's great when she seduces the resident lothario at the end and turns out to be the one who wears the pants in the relationship.

There's the accident-prone guy that runs over his wife and inadvertently starts a riot. Most memorable might just be Michael Winslow's sound-effect spewing character, Jones. Or how about the 7-foot-tall, intimidating, yet gentle giant Hightower, a former florist.

Mahoney (Steve Guttenberg) is the lovable rapscallion hero of the film and his love interest (which I'm sure changes in every movie) is a young Kim Catrall (who now plays Sarah Jessica Parker or someone of Sex and the City).

But my favorite has to be the clueless and nearly-senile Commander Lassard, well-played by the late and great George Gaynes. The old man is probably the funnest to watch out of the whole cast. Itâ??s like how it seems cute when your grandfather gets lost getting the mail, or forgets to wear pants.

And I couldn't believe when the hooker hidden in the podium gives Commander Lassard a blowjob during his presentation. I forgot that Mahoney sticks his head out at the end, making the commander think a dude just blew him! LMAO, that was some funny shit! Then there's that ASSHOLE G.

W. Bailey and his team of goons. I have NEVER hated anyone more in a movie before. One of the best things about the Police Academy films is him getting his comeuppance time and time again. Only saw the guy in one other film in the '80s - The Wizard starring Fred Savage.

He played a goofy, supposedly fun-for-kids, video game competition worker. It was like, dude, are you serious? Really? C'mon!