Review of Polar (2019) by Vampireboar — 29 Jan 2019

Full disclosure, I got 48 minutes into this film and stopped watching because I could not bear another moment. In that time, the film manages to have zero tension, tedious action scenes, jokes that fall flat, and an attitude to women that comes across as perhaps the most unsexy attempt at sexualisation I've ever seen. Even the music is boring.

Does a fat man shot in the testicles with a nail gun sound funny to you? Does an obese man being called "meatloaf" while he is strangled? Do you like the idea of someone with just enough charisma to be a sidekick being cast as a flamboyant villain? How about a boring action scene in which someone is shot, and then some other people meander towards them and shoot him a couple more times, does that sound enjoyable?

Watch John Wick, or Kingsman: Secret Service, or Kick-ass. Don't waste your time on this.