Review of Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011) by Cheat700000007 — 20 May 2011

This movie was just a flat out mess. There was no pacing, characters didn't have a character, they had a name and a set of objectives that they had to do to advance the plot or cause something to happen that shouldn't have, but the producer thought would be exciting like having someone jump into the camera away from an explosion in a PIRATE MOVIE, or have a chase scene in a busy town that people should be barely able to move in (which is actually how the chase ends, why there is suddenly a huge path available before that who knows) riding a wooden cart full of flaming coals which for some reason isn't completely burning.

I'm going to stop listing out things now or else I'll just be writing a summary of the entire movie. Captain Sparrow's character arc is starting to remind me of Stewie Griffens arc too. At the start of the series, he was an evil mastermind with gay tendancies, but a fun and original character.

Now he is just gay. All of the interest, sublty, and roundness to the character is gone. Every other character is completely flat and only act to advance the plot in the way that the writers, or maybe the producer, wanted.

They have no personality, no depth, no soul. They are not characters they are just living mcguffins. Nearly every big event in the movie just happens. It is not explained or even hinted at in any way of the sort why or how it was happening.

There wasn't even a reason why or how the characters knew what they were doing. Even in simple little dialogue interactions, characters had responses that made no sense. As I'm looking back at the movie now, I can confidently say that if you picked out ANY scene in the movie, I could tell you at least 3 things wrong with it.

I sincerely hope the writers of this movie never do so again. At the 30 minute mark I was already ready to walk out, but stayed because I did enjoy the other 3 movies. In 2 and 3 they had a few boring segments which turned to great ones later on, I kept hoping this would be the case but it sure as hell was not.

The only reason I can see that this is getting positive reviews at all is either that a) these people are from disney or were paid off or b) throwing big name celebrities into a movie really will make people like it whether it is a good movie or not.