Review of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017) by Jason H — 22 Jun 2017

I wasn't expecting a masterpiece, but I certainly wasn't expecting it to not be entertaining. At least the previous films had great swashbuckling fun and wit. They told bizarre stories that had strange characters, all of which had something to offer to the film.

The adventures were full of surprises, making them worth at least checking out, and Jack Sparrow was a character that was actually worth waiting for. This film had no personality. No heart. No passion.

It was nothing more than a "bottom of the barrel" film with cheap sex jokes and physical gags, most of which were served by Jack Sparrow. He was drained of the spirit that he had in the previous films, and wasn't even worth the time he was on screen.

Nobody cared, nobody tried, and the full theater was nearly emptied halfway through the film. What once was a film series known for their cinematic experiences, is now nothing more than a dried up corpse, a result of Disney's relentless need to milk their products to death.