Review of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017) by John M — 17 Nov 2017

Going back to the well. So Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) is back, and wouldn't you know that he's in trouble again. A scorned ghost pirate (Javier Bardem) is seeking vengeance on Jack, so he's got to find Poseidon's trident if he wants to stand a chance of breaking the ghost's curse and surviving.

Even though this is a series that is but a shadow of its former glory, I still think fondly of this franchise. The first movie still holds up to this day, and I think Dead Man's Chest is a largely underrated rollercoaster ride.

I even remember liking the third movie, although with a three hour runtime, I've never once felt the need to go back and revisit it. The fourth and now the fifth movie I can say are underwhelming, but I'd be lying if I said that there aren't moments to be enjoyed.

The thing about this series is that Jack Sparrow was never at any point supposed to be the lead. This was never about him, he was just a side character that helped to progress the story. But once Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley made their exits, the studio didn't have much of a choice but to pay Johnny's bloated price tag in the hope of keeping people coming back for more.

Sure, you get knock-off characters in both this and in On Stranger Tides that are supposed to replace Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann, but it is never quite the same. The story to Dead Men Tell No Tales is very standard, but the action set pieces still work.

Even if the writing doesn't sparkle, it at least keeps in touch with its theme park ride roots. I probably would have liked this better if there was a stronger villain featured. The motivation is just uninspired, and the fact that the ghost crew is almost entirely CGI doesn't help, either.

It almost looks like an unfinished effect, and while it looks okay on Bardem, on everyone else, it looks like it needed more rendering, because it always feels like you are looking at a special effect.

I do think that they have taken this series about as far as it can go, and I really don't see them striking rich on movie number six. Jack Sparrow should be dead at this point, but Johnny Depp has a firm grip in that it would just not be a Pirates movie without him.

I think that when this is just being an action adventure movie, it is marginally successful. This is really only for the hardcore Pirates fans, even though I don't think there is going to be much of anybody walking away from this feeling truly satisfied.